The Walking Dead Season 6: All Fuckery, No Payoff

The Walking Dead Season 6: All Fuckery, No Payoff

fuckery

n. derivative of the word fuck

Absolute bullshit; utter nonsense; something rather suspicious that can bring forth uneasy, angry, or irritated feelings. The stunt pulled by people who don’t know how to tell the truth or enjoy messing with people’s heads as a hobby.

Trolling in television is nothing new – but this shit has gone too far.  As I sit here writing this, my turnt levels are sitting at a nice and steady 75% when a mere few days ago, I was ready to set the world on fire. It’s become clear to me that I’ve spent 16 weeks of my life anticipating the death of a “beloved” character, only to get fucked extremely hard in return.  The title of this episode was ironically called “Last Day on Earth” – and after a few viewings, there’s a good chance it’s the last time I fuck with this show.  There’s also a good chance that I’m full of shit because most likely I’ll still be tuning in. But i’ll be real mad.

From the inconsistent character portrayals to the constant introductions of red shirts you know will be dead sooner than later, The Walking Dead has lost focus on the one thing that made it worthwhile: character development. Everyone is all over the place, ranging from overpowered one minute to weak as fuck the next. Characters who are dead shots with a gun yet can’t seem to aim for shit when it counts. Or when completely stupid decisions are made by characters that I’m supposed believe have a medical degree?? Yeah fucking right. This show isn’t fooling me at all and it’s clear whoever is in charge has no idea what the fuck is going on. Where’s all that shit you were talking, Rick? Homeboy didn’t seem to have too much to say once a bat was in his face.  I’m sure the dozens of guns aimed directly at him didn’t hurt but that’s not my point. Abraham is probably the only consistent character on the show and that isn’t saying much.  At the very least, he was still true to his self even when held hostage by Negan. I’m just saying that if I was in that situation, I’d be convinced we were all going to die anyways – so you might as well give a big “fuck you” before you go out. Or you can cry tears for your enemies to bathe in.

tumblr_o5381q32VE1qaufopo1_r1_500

It was clear from the premiere episode that things were going to be more or less shitty compared to the phenomenal 5th season but I wanted to hold on to any optimism I had left for the show. We were lead to believe that this episode would be going somewhere big, tragic and possibly genre changing (Fuck you, Andrew Lincoln!).  This was clearly a fucking joke and what could’ve been a testament to The Walking Dead as a series and it’s willingness to push the envelope was shunned in order to generate buzz going into season seven. So I’m not surprised when I hear that the ratings were down compared to last year because frankly, this season has been total shit.

What’s sad is that this could’ve been the best episode considering how much it had going for it: tension, suspense and the lingering fear that someone would be getting 100% wrecked. Instead it’s just another example of how the show fails to deliver when it matters most. Leaving the death open to interpretation would only have worked thematically if this was the penultimate episode – but the choice to do it in the finale was just lazy. If Negan really is the introduction to a whole new world, then why not establish how brutal and ruthless that world really is in the goddamned finale? Looking back on the episode, it was mainly a road trip that led to nowhere and that’s exactly how it feels watching this show.

Other shit:

  • Trevor from GTA will always give me life.
  • Judah Negan could most definitely get it anytime and anywhere.
  • Morgan pulling his own weight just when it mattered most was painfully predictable but I ship Morgan and Carol so I don’t give a fuck.
  • Carol aka our mother and savior just needs to hibernate for a few seasons and she shall rise again.
  • This show just needs to fucking end already.