AHS: Freak Show E412 (Meep Like The Little Bitch You Are)

AHS: Freak Show E412 (Meep Like The Little Bitch You Are)

I was convinced that I was done writing about this shit show of a season but the latest episode was actually decent. I found it hard to believe that the writers actually had a plan for “Freak Show” because most of it has been cock teasing at best. With so much of the story initially centered around Dandy, it felt a little odd for him to be put on the back burner in favor of watching Stanley continue to fuck people over. That all changed during Show Stoppers – which was surprisingly the first time I didn’t have to force myself to search for fucks to give in regards to watching the next episode. So that’s something new.

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The episode begins with Stanley being the last to arrive at a feast for the freaks. This was more of a going away party for Elsa which she made abundantly clear by telling Chester (her replacement) to get the fuck out so the original members could have time alone.

After learning that Stanley is a fucking creep – the freaks exact their revenge but it’s done mostly off screen so that’s total fucking bullshit. After all of the villainous shit this snake has done, it would have been nice to see his dismemberment happen on screen but I’m no psychopath or anything. Although seeing the final product made it better.

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Jimmy Still Fucking Sucks

Lobster Boy spends most of the episode the same way he’s spent a majority of this season: bitching. With the exception of his role as Quicksilver in Day’s of Future Past – I’m not impressed by Evan Peters as an actor at all. Maybe it’s just the material he’s given but yelling “ YOU KILLED MY FATHERRRRRRRRUUURRRR” gets old real quick.  And before anyone bitches at me – I understand he has no hands…but his hands were shaped like fucking lobster claws so is that really a big loss? And to top it off, he had an opportunity to have cooler hands built for him yet he ultimately chooses to have wooden replicas of the hands he lost. I understand what this says about accepting who you are but honestly fuck that shit! Give me cooler, more functional hands any day. Call me crazy. I give literally zero fucks.

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A Doll, Two Heads and a Magician

While Chester tries to enjoy sexy time with Bette & Dot, Marjorie takes cock blocking to a whole new level: “Those twins, they have to go” she says creepily as fuck as Chester demonstrates that he has clearly lost his goddamned mind. So much to the point that I wonder why none of these idiots question his ability to run a goddamned freak-show. I also have no idea what the fuck is going on with his storyline. It would have been much creepier to have the doll actually possessed. I mean if Edward Mordrake can exist then a possessed doll wouldn’t be beyond the realms of possibility.

Dandy walks into the twins room to do some cock blocking of his own. The charismatic maniac delivers a folder full of scandalous details on Chester that even Dandy would give a side-eye to apparently. This obviously plays a huge role in the twins decision to not be Chester’s assistants anymore, providing a solid opportunity to kill off another meaningless character: Maggie. She volunteers to get “sawed in half” but to her dismay, Chester didn’t take his meds that morning because once he threw the handcuffs on her feet – the bitch was going nowhere. Her death was brutal but quick and I saw it coming the moment she volunteered. Girl bye. No one really cared about you anyways.

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The episode ends with the remaining freaks attempting to make good on their promise to shut Elsa down for good. Thanks to Bette and Dot being snitches, Elsa lived to see another day and got some revenge of her own. Not only does she escape, but she gives ownership of her business to Dandy. Placing everyone in the clutches of Satan himself and setting up what should be a decent finale but when a majority of the season is shit – it’s hard to imagine things getting worse.

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  • Dr. Hans Gruper was actually a young Dr. Arden from Asylum. ARE YOUR MINDS BLOWN?
  • This episode actually felt creepy, especially when the freaks unite for a kill.