True Blood E703 (Namaste)

True Blood E703 (Namaste)

Only three episodes in and this season is already better than season six. It’s rare when a final season can show so much promise (Breaking Bad pretty much forced every other TV show to get it’s shit together). And although shit could still get ridiculously stupid before it’s all said and done – I’ve been pretty entertained with episodes 1-3. 

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There were three major plot points: Sookie’s attempt to find where the hostages were being held, the revelation that Eric is infected and the ignorant fools running rampant around Bon Temps.

Bon Temps Gone Wild Part II

After last weeks hillbilly uprising – the residents of Bon Temps are 100% committed to being stupid as fuck. Instead of forging alliances with the only vampires in town who care to protect them, they go off spouting hateful shit that you don’t say to vampires. Thing’s that lead to idiotic actions like shooting Jessica in the arm and getting your shit wrecked by Violet. (RIP Maxine – you were a crazy bitch and I miss you already)

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But before Maxine Fortenberry met her grisly fate, the townspeople were super turnt up after talking some mad shit to Sam and his vampire protector. For some reason, Sam turns into an owl. Um – what the fuck is wrong with this guy? Any shapeshifter with an ounce of common sense would shift into something a little less easy to shoot. I just can’t with Sam. I know your True Death is around the corner and honestly it’ll be a long time coming. His character hasn’t been interesting since the Maryanne days when orgies were something that happened on the reg. 

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Eric, Sarah Newlin and Crazy Samurai Dudes

Pam spends a majority of this episode saying shit we’ve heard many times before: “For ova’ a hundred yearz we have been doing crazy shit” and blah fucking blah. Eric seems to have given up on life completely and it’s a fucking drag to watch. On the flip side – we were treated to some goofy yet effective flashbacks to the 80’s when everyone was super swaggered out (mainly Pam and Nan. Eric looks like a fucking tool). 

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We see that the Authority are on the brink of introducing TruBlood into the fold; meaning that if vampires are to fully perpetrate the notion that they are mainstreaming – a bit of house cleaning is in order. Like the rebels they are, Eric and Pam resist the idea until the latter of the two realizes there’s a good chance the Authority isn’t fucking around. 

There’s also a random chick named Sylvie who we’re supposed to believe Eric cares deeply for although we’ve never heard of this trick. It seemed that her character’s only purpose was to show how ruthless the Yakimono Corporation can be by forcing Eric to choose between his progeny and his fuck buddy. Thus giving Eric another reason to go HAM this season. 

All Pam has to do is drop Sarah Newlin’s name and after three episodes – our boy is back. 

Mrs. Newlin is hiding out in Los Angeles, fucking nasty Yoga instructors and shit. She’s also being targeted by the YC so her death should be bloody at the least. It just depends on who gets to her first. 

Wolf Down

Alcide is a cool guy. Probably the best choice for Sookie in the long run. Unfortunately, safe and happy on this show doesn’t make a goddamn bit of sense. Many complain about the writer’s decision to fast forward six months but I feel as if we saw enough in these first three episodes to solidify these two as a legit couple.

When Sookie and Bill’s plan to lure the Hep V’s in with her blood goes awry, Alcide gets super crunk with Bill – but fails to notice the random hillbilly gunning for him. His anger got the best of him and like most – Sookie was the reason for his downfall. His death was necessary because although Sookie and Bill will probably be the endgame for the show, Eric deserves at least one more piece of that pie.

gurlbye

  • I’m over this Hep V shit though
  • Holly and Andy are reunited
  • Lafayette needs to chill the fuck out with those prescription pills