American Horror Story: Coven S3.E12 [Vitalum Vitalis]
This article is late and I don’t give a fuck. Enjoy.
Queenie starts the episode by questioning the whereabouts of Marie Laveau. When Fiona demonstrates that she gives zero fucks – Queenie cops an attitude that provides Fiona with the perfect opportunity to show who the real HBIC is.
After Queenie finds Marie’s blood, she takes it upon herself to astral project into the nether realms of Hell because that’s what bad bitches do. Speaking of Hell, is it me or did that place seem really fucking boring? I mean where’s the fire? Where’s the Taylor Swift music? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? Anyways, Papa Legba makes his spooky-as-fuck presence known when he appears to Queenie. He warns her that she has proven herself by journeying to Hell before her time, but she would be wise to get the fuck out as soon as possible. When she does, the two sip on hot coco (extra marshmallows for Legba because he’s a boss) and devise a plan to break the ties between Marie Laveau and Madame Delphine so that she can kill the racist bitch once and for all.
While Queenie formulates a plan of attack, we learn that Delphine has moved into her old house and taken over as the museum curator to “set the record straight”. I seriously can’t with this bitch. When we see Queenie outside witnessing Delphine in all her ratchet glory, we know this bitch’s days are numbered. The confrontation was short but it was glorious nonetheless. When Delphine starts talking all that racist bullshit like she usually does, Queenie wastes no time in shanking that bitch right in her heart. The only thing missing from this scene was a subtle “girrrrrl, bye.”
When Fiona once again proves that she’s a sneaky ass bitch, Cordelia inadvertently has her mother killed by the fucking Axeman. This actually surprised me because I assumed Fiona would live to see who the next Supreme was. If her body wasn’t fed to alligators I wouldn’t rule out a chance of her returning. However – in less it’s in Hell – we probably won’t see Fiona Goode again. The coven took this surprisingly hard and I was definitely thrown off by this. I mean, didn’t these bitches plan on killing Fiona anyways? NOW YOU GUY’S WANT TO ACT ALL SAD? FUCK OFF WITH THAT BULLSHIT.
We end the episode with the coven shanking the Axeman back to wherever the fuck he came from. Good times ya’ll.
- EVERYONE HAS TELEKINESIS NOW
- ZOE THINKS SHE’S THE NEXT SUPREME LOL
- MADISON GOT THAT ASS WHOOPED by MISTY DAY