True Blood S6.E01 [Kill Bill]
The season six premiere of True Blood wasted no time asserting itself as the most entertaining show on television. We pick up moments after season five’s finale, but this time from Bill’s perspective. It seems as if the blood of Lillith is a mixture of steroids, meth and two tablespoons of crack cocaine because Bill has lost is motherfucking mind; and I love every minute of it.
Sookie and Eric do the logical thing and haul ass out of the Authority building, not before she has enough time to use the LAST bit of fairy magic she has as a goddamn flashlight for Eric. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!!! HE IS A CREATURE OF THE NIGHT, HE CAN SEE IN THE DARK JUST FINE!!! SAVE YOUR LIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU SIMPLE BITCH!!
After finding the rest of their crew and making a pit stop at a beach we finally get caught up with our character’s thoughts and feelings. Jessica and Sookie debate on how to move on from losing Bill while Pam and Tara have sexy lesbian time. Tara is proving to be the backbone of their relationship, providing strength to Pam when she needs it the most. She’s consistently insightful and straightforward this episode, which are some of her better qualities. Nora and Eric aren’t sure what to do about Bill’s new reincarnation but the revelation that Warlow is in fact Lillith’s progeny was a surprise. This means we can expect the Billith and Warlow story lines to eventually cross over into the same territory which is a good thing. After having so many story lines separated for the past seasons, it will be interesting to see our characters work together for a change.
Things start to get really trippy when Billith summons Jessica. Watching her body contort in agony was pretty fucked up and Pams comment about “nice knowing ya” definitely lightened the mood. Jessica is tied to something extremely powerful now, and whatever changes Bill has undergone are surely going to have major effects on his progeny as well. Sookie makes the decision to take Jessica back to Bill, and this is one of those times when she’s being overly impulsive. How is it remotely a good idea to let her take Jessica to Bill alone? It just doesn’t make sense. This does, however, put Sookie in a more vulnerable situation which is always better for a show that is primarily horror. When the two find Bill sitting outsite his porch, Nora and Eric fly in for the kill only to get pwned by Bill. Sookie follows up with a stake in the heart and to everyone’s surprise; this doesn’t do a goddamn thing. Bill hasn’t been this cool since season one and I’m digging it. He’s got a calmness about him that’s been gone for some time, yet he’s different and actually fucking scary.
It seems that Luna’s body couldn’t handle the physicality of skin walking once again, causing Sam and Emma to leave her behind. It was a quick send off for her character, but an effective one. I was sad to see her go but she died a hero and that’s a noble end to her arc.
Back in Merlottes Sam finds a hung-over Lafayette has been sippin’ on his good tequila. I fucking love Lafayette. He needs his own talk show or something; like a web miniseries. I would watch that shit all day. In fact I’m going to make a petition. He immediately transforms into a mother figure for Emma and makes it a priority to see that she’s fed and taken care of while Sam recuperates from Lunas death. Now that she has skin-walked on live television, she’s revealed that other supes exist besides vampires. This could be a problem because usually things Americans don’t understand, they fear, and those things get killed or locked away in chains somewhere.
Tara & Pam
Tara and Pam are having hard time agreeing on the fact that Pam is being a pussy ass bitch. For too long now has she been crying over Eric when she is the last thing on his mind and Tara calls her out on this: “You can be Eric Northmans punching bag, but I didn’t sign up for this shit”. And when she says “Fuck Eric!” one too many times, Pam goes for the bitch-slap but fails when Tara catches that shit: showing who really wears the pants in the relationship. Tara has also become extremely fucking strong for a baby vamp. It’s not long, though, before the feds show up ordering Fangtasia to be shut down. Pam submits willingly, while Tara hasn’t learned that she can’t solve all of her problems by ripping people’s faces off and gets shot with some kind of stunning device. Maybe if her maker would stop bitching about Eric so much and start teaching her progeny how to fucking hypnotize a motherfucker or something this shit wouldn’t happen.
The end of the episode brought on more questions than answers, specifically with Bill. He asks Jessica to keep him grounded so that he doesn’t lose himself completely, but I feel like he has plans of his own when it comes to Jessica and how to use her to further his mission. She drops a glass of blood giving him the perfect opportunity to display his cool new ability to control things with his mind. This is some campy shit and I’m all for it. We know for sure that Warlow has some mystical powers of his own, so if these two do come face to face by the season’s endgame, we can expect some trippy action sequences to say the least. In the final moments, Bill walks into his office only to find three blood soaked Lillith wannabes waiting to merge into his body as one. What this means for his character remains to be seen, but if this episode is any indication of what’s to come then this should be a pretty solid season. This is the first episode without series creator Alan Ball as show runner and it feels different but in a good way so see ya later, chump! Your ideas were wack anyways.
- The Governor has issued a statewide vampire curfew, while shutting down all Vampire owned businesses. He’s also planning on making TruBlood again so that the Vampires can return to being tax-paying members of society. I think that he’s planning on poisoning a couple thousand vampires but that’s just my theory.
- Alcide is getting a taste of rock star life because the groupies are lining up. In a major contrast with Debbie, Rikki is adapting to Alcide’s cheating ways instead of going into Crazy Jealous Bitch Mode. She’s not a fool and knows he’s going to mess around on her so she warns him that she is his main bitch while the other trick blows him. Where did they find this bitch? Does this happen? Debbie pelt would have taken a shotgun to a bitches dome if they fucked with her man. Just saying..
- Nora is going to be a fucking problem. Get her out of here immediately.
- Andy’s kids becoming toddlers overnight was fucking classic and hilarious at the same time. This might be one of my favorite story lines for the comedic aspect alone. I love that the writers have found a way to merge characters together into more focused story lines. Arlene and Terry helping Andy with his kids is a great way to free up some screen time for the characters that really matter so kudos to the writers. You guys are actually listening to us.
- Jason got picked up from a very sinister looking motherfucker who the writers want us to think is Warlow, but I’m not buying it. Either way, this guys face will give me nightmares.
- Eric gave Sookie her house back, and she thanked him by re-sending his invitation.