Game of Thrones S3.E08 [Dragonglass=Pwned]

Game of Thrones S3.E08 [Dragonglass=Pwned]

This week on Game of Thrones, wedding season is upon us and characters are finding it difficult to adjust to their new circumstances. The episode starts with Arya contemplating murdering the Hound in his sleep. Unfortunately she’s too slow, giving him time to wake up and put the fear of God in her. It seems to me that he’s trying to do well by Arya, but she ain’t got time for that. He reveals that her uncle Edmure is getting married at the The Twins, and if she wishes to see her family again then that’s where they should go. The spark of hope in her eyes at the notion of reuniting with Robb and Catelyn is instantaneous.

Daenerys is learning that if she wants to be Queen, she has to deal with trash ass motherfuckers. The introduction of The Second Sons and their captains is short lived but entertaining. Dany is proving that she can hold her own even when dealing with assholes like Mero. WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS DUDE THINK HE IS? DISSRESPECTING MY KHALEESI AND SNIFFING PEOPLES PRIVATE PARTS? WHERE ARE THE DRAGONS!!? BURN HIM PLEASE.

After the decision to go to battle is made, the Second Sons plan a secret assassination attempt on Dany. These guys are chumps because they know they can’t win on the battlefield so they want resort to pulling some shady shit. Daario wins the coin toss or whatever the fuck you call that; and proves his loyalties lie with Daenerys. His face is weird but I like that he’s at least upfront with her: “I only want to serve you because you’re hot”. Daario is a smooth motherfucker and Daenerys will need a King someday sooner than later. Time to start making some Targaryen babies because you ain’t shit without your legacy!!! Daario gets 1,000,000 points for chopping off Mero’s head because the point system is now back ladies and gentlemen.

Gendry and Melisandre return to Dragonstone so she can sacrifice or do some fucked up shit with leeches to him. I was expecting her to just slit his throat or stab him; so while I’m sure having leeches on you would suck, it did seem a little tame compared to my initial expectations. Stannis is so fucking boring I’m not even sure what he says half of the time. For the most part he’s just bitter like always. Though I will say his friendship with Davos Seaworth is his saving grace. That relationship represents the possible good in Stannis while Melisandre represents the bad. I’m not sure how long the newly released Davos can maintain his composure around Melisandre, but Stannis will eventually have to make a choice between these two opposing forces in his life.

Tyrion and Sansa’s wedding is probably the most depressing thing I’ve ever seen. Joffrey making a mockery of Tyrion’s height was low even for him, and realizing that Sansa is only 14 years old changes my disposition towards her. I always felt sorry for her but I never knew she was dealing with all of this bullshit at such a young age. She looks damn near 17 or 18. After the wedding, Tyrion does the right thing and shuns the idea of them two having sex. At least until she is ready. This dude is a good guy and maybe Sansa will actually learn to love him one day. He likes to get wasted at least.

The tension between the Lannisters and Tyrells are coming to a climax, and the scene with Margaery and Cersei was the beginning of that domino effect. Margaery makes the mistake of referring to Cersei as “sister”, causing Queen Bitch Lannister to threaten to have her strangled in her sleep if it ever happens again. These two women are both bitches, but in different ways. Margaery is up to something and it’s written all over her face, yet her words suggest otherwise. Cersei isn’t as complex because she’s an upfront bitch which makes me like her character in a weird way. The highlight of this entire sequence comes from Lady Olenna: “Your brother will become your father-in-law. That much is beyond dispute”.

The episode ends with a creepy ass White Walker two-stepping his way towards Samwell and his female companion. I was 100% sure that he was about to bite the dust, but he pulls out his Dragonglass and slays the motherfucker with it. The frosty death scene was awesome and Dragonglass is apparently awesome too. Yet, for some reason Samwell did not pick it up after the White Walker was vanquished. What the fuck man? Pick that shit back up!

This season has been consistently good in my opinion, and with two episodes left I’m just waiting for all hell to break loose.