Game of Thrones S3.E03 [Walk of Punishment]
This week’s episode did a great job of moving storylines forward, specifically with Tyrion, Jaime and Daenerys.
Setting a more comical tone, we start in Riverun at the funeral of Catelyn’s father, the Lord of Riverun. It seems custom to shoot flaming arrows at a floating corpse, and the first contender fails miserably, while the second, The Blackfish, does it like a boss on his first try. It’s so awkward, not even Robb can keep from laughing, but Lady Stark looks appalled. Bitch, get off your high horse and smile.
In preparation for a meeting with Tywin, I never knew that choice of seating could be so intense. Cersei takes a seat next to her father, while all eyes are on Tyrion. Like the boss that he is, he not only rejects the notion of sitting next to his father, he takes his seat at the end. If Tywin is what a Lannister should be then Tyrion is the other end of that spectrum. By the end of the meeting, Littlefinger is sent off to swoon Lysa Arryn’s crazy ass and Tyrion is made Lord of Coin, which he detests.
He also gives his squire infinite amounts of poontang, and that’s worth mentioning.
Jaime and Brienne
The guys who kidnapped Brienne and Jaime are harmonzing to a song about a Bear at a Maiden fair, and I’m digging it. This is their equivalent to pop music, I bet. Brienne is schooling Jaime on his swordsmanship skills, and even goes so far as to question the worth of his name. He rebuttals by warning her to be prepapred for the rape that’s sure to come. It’s not until the end of the episode that all hell breaks loose, because Jaime “Smoothtalkin” Lannister got his pretty little hand chopped the fuck off. And sure enough it’s when I start to like his character. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!
Theon is still as good as dead, until his mystery savior appears not once, but two times to save his ass this episode. The final time was intense for many reasons, such as the onslaught of arrows and the attempted butt raping, but after his life is saved again I’m starting to give up hope that he’ll die at all.
Daenerys and her Queens’ Guard are still in Astapor where she’s preparing to purchase the Unsullied. Now that she has Ser Barristan Selmy and Jorah Mormont she has two opposing opinions to consider. Sir Jorah believes she should purchase the Unsullied, while Selmy thinks her dragons and a few Spellswords will be more than enough to reclaim the Iron Throne. She appears to have a plan of her own because she does some incredibly stupid shit by offering her strongest Dragon as a trade for the Unsullied. Hopefully next week she will command her Dragons to burn the whole city to the ground. Her brother, Rhaegar Targaryen, and the Battle of the Trident were mentioned and I hope we see a flashback of this before this season ends. This battle served as the turning point in Robert’s Rebellion and marks the fall of the Targaryen Dynasty.
– Jon Snow is going over The Wall
– Arya parted ways with Hot Pie
– Tyrion’s choice of seating was epic
– The closing song was epic
– Ghost is doing his own thing
– THERE WAS NO JOFFREY!!! YUHH!!!